By: Kim Humphrey, Billy’s Place Director of Operations

Mother’s Day used to be a day I looked forward to. As a child, others helped me realize how special my mom was and gave me tools to create tangible gifts to let her know how much I loved her. As a mother to my own children, Mother’s Day meant a day to honor the incredible bond between mother and child, and to recognize the sacrifice that mothers make to care for their children. Just like I did as a child, my own kids came home with special handmade gifts from school. Or maybe their Daddy took them to pick out something for me that they knew I would love, which of course I did because they put so much effort and consideration into it! I will keep these treasures forever. One of my favorites is a beautiful hand-painted plate with Mayzie’s footprints.

Mayzie, Lily, and Dutch

Now, Mother’s Day is full of different emotions… mostly pain.

Erik and Kim Humphrey

One of my children is no longer here on earth with me. I cannot hold her, tell her how much I love being her Mommy and taking care of her, and I will not receive any more handmade Mother’s Day gifts from her. 

This holiday also brings guilt as I have two other children – some women never have the chance to be a mother and I have two living children who show me love and do special things for me on a daily basis.

And as far as celebrating my own mother, at this moment I can barely muster the courage to even think about spending time with other people on Mother’s Day. I just want to curl up in bed and wait for the day to be over. I’m sorry Mom, I love you. And I know you understand. 

Maybe next year will be the year that I can confidently be around others on Mother’s Day, feeling even just a bit of joy. Because of my faith and my incredibly supportive family and friends, I have hope. My Billy’s Place Family continues to show up for me and for one another, providing a safe space where I can share these feelings without judgment or isolation.