MOTHER’S DAY AFTER LOSING A CHILD
By: Kim Humphrey, Billy’s Place Director of Operations
Mother’s Day used to be a day I looked forward to. As a child, others helped me realize how special my mom was and gave me tools to create tangible gifts to let her know how much I loved her. As a mother to my own children, Mother’s Day meant a day to honor the incredible bond between mother and child, and to recognize the sacrifice that mothers make to care for their children. Just like I did as a child, my own kids came home with special handmade gifts from school. Or maybe their Daddy took them to pick out something for me that they knew I would love, which of course I did because they put so much effort and consideration into it! I will keep these treasures forever. One of my favorites is a beautiful hand-painted plate with Mayzie’s footprints.
Now, Mother’s Day is full of different emotions… mostly pain.
One of my children is no longer here on earth with me. I cannot hold her, tell her how much I love being her Mommy and taking care of her, and I will not receive any more handmade Mother’s Day gifts from her.
This holiday also brings guilt as I have two other children – some women never have the chance to be a mother and I have two living children who show me love and do special things for me on a daily basis.
And as far as celebrating my own mother, at this moment I can barely muster the courage to even think about spending time with other people on Mother’s Day. I just want to curl up in bed and wait for the day to be over. I’m sorry Mom, I love you. And I know you understand.
Maybe next year will be the year that I can confidently be around others on Mother’s Day, feeling even just a bit of joy. Because of my faith and my incredibly supportive family and friends, I have hope. My Billy’s Place Family continues to show up for me and for one another, providing a safe space where I can share these feelings without judgment or isolation.
