Kids don’t just bounce back from grief: How one mom changed the trajectory for her kids

When LoriAnn was only 15, she experienced the traumatizing loss of her father at home. The impact of that moment stayed with her throughout her teenage years. Without support or a safe space to talk about what had happened, LoriAnn struggled to cope with her grief. Over time, this pain led her to face serious challenges with her mental health, including periods of self-harm and several hospital stays.

And the horrible truth is: LoriAnn’s experience is not uncommon. When kids don’t get the support they need when they’re grieving, there are often devastating long-term impacts like these:

• 97% of teachers say grief negatively affects learning.
• Bereaved children are twice as likely to face serious challenges at home.
• 1 in 4 youth who died by suicide were grieving a loss.
• Bereaved children are 175% more likely to struggle with substance use in adulthood.

* As reported in the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM)

The cost of unresolved grief is too high, which LoriAnn knew from personal experience.  

That’s why, years later, when LoriAnn and her husband, Chris, faced horrible loss again with the deaths of their daughter Amara in 2017 and their rainbow baby Iris just nine months later, they determined their son Levi and daughter Jayden would receive the support LoriAnn didn’t have when she was a teen. 

They created an emotionally safe environment at home, but knew that wasn’t enough. So they came to Billy’s Place. 

People who “get it”

When LoriAnn learned about Billy’s Place, something stirred in her. She remembers her first phone call with Kim Humphrey, a beloved former staff member. “I talked to Kim for a really long time. She cried, I cried. It felt like a release.” 

It was clear from the start that LoriAnn and her family would find people who understand what they’re going through at Billy’s Place. 

This understanding and openness mattered to LoriAnn, who rejects the notion that kids simply “bounce back” after the death of a loved one. 

“I honestly don’t believe kids are just resilient, I think they are just not given the space they need to experience grief on the same level we give ourselves and I don’t agree that should be the case.”

– LoriAnn

At Billy’s Place, her kids were given exactly that: a place to feel, recognize that they’re not alone and, when they were ready, to share. 

Finding a safe community for support at Billy’s Place

LoriAnn’s son, Levi, was only four when they lost Amara and five when they lost Iris. The grief hit him in ways LoriAnn didn’t expect. He became fearful and anxious — crying when his mother left the house, terrified she might not come back. “Both times that I left expecting to come home with his baby sister, someone didn’t come home,” LoriAnn explains.

Billy’s Place helped Levi begin releasing that fear. Groups are structured so that kids and parents attend separate sessions but remain close by. This gradually taught Levi that separation doesn’t mean loss. Over time, he began attending groups on his own, finding comfort and friendship with kids and leaders who understood him.

“I’m able to talk about my special people more at Billy’s Place than anyplace else besides my home, because I know that no one will make me feel worse or make fun of me for being sad.”

– Levi

The drive home after group nights became sacred time for conversation. “It opened up a dialogue for us to be open with each other. It gave Levi and Jayden a vocabulary to be able to talk about how they felt,” LoriAnn shared.

Melody Logan, Billy’s Place Family Bereavement Director, became especially important to Levi. Levi lost Amara around Christmas, and Melody lost her mom at the same time of the year. They shared a connection that went beyond words. When Levi was invited to throw the opening pitch at a spring training baseball game, it wasn’t his mom he wanted by his side — it was Melody. For LoriAnn, that moment symbolized something bigger: Levi was finding strength in other people too. 

Normalizing grief

LoriAnn, who once faced grief alone, is now taking the lead in making sure her family knows that being open about loss is not only possible, but vital. 

“I want to normalize being open about grief. We were a mess, we were falling apart. We’re not perfect now, but we’re better.”

– LoriAnn