ADDED PRESSURE, THIS IS HOPE

By Ruquiayah Gearring, School Bereavement Liaison, Family Support Specialist

At a Traumatic Loss Group meeting, I noticed three teenage boys hit it off fairly quickly. One of the boys was there for the first time and the other two had been here the semester before.

Turns out, the three boys had similar fears about the school year – already thinking about final exams. It was so hopeful to see them validate each other’s feelings and to each understand that they’re not alone in this. 

In the “Garbage In and Garbage Out” activity, where we examine the words we use to describe ourselves and our feelings, they shared similar garbage thoughts like: “I’m not good enough.” 

And because the teens are all athletes, they also often say to themselves “I have to be better.” 

There’s a lot of pressure on teenage athletes to succeed, but the pressure on these boys is amplified because they are grieving. 

Each boy shared how he wants to succeed and win in honor of the special person he lost. 

This is the kind of thing that grieving kids think about that many of us would never know. A teenager may never open up to a coach, parent or teacher about this added pressure, but with peers at Billy’s Place, they can find a safe space with friends who know the feeling. 

This is HOPE.